I think of Baleadas – thick, tasteless wraps sold on the street and in convenience stores, stacked in tinfoil pyramids – cold, with beans and salty quesillo of unknown age and origin.
I think of lychees, hawked by children in 10-piece bags, their blood-red hairs crushed into plastic submission, looking like sea-urchins… purveyed by street urchins.
I think of flooded streets, market lean-tos painted watery green with amorphous figures huddled underneath against the driving rain, chewing tiny bananas and looking at me as I cower too, below a store awning across the street: drenched, myopic, alien.
I think of internet cafes with no connection, hotels with mildewed walls, sullen staff, and the smell of a hurricane on its way.
Broken-up sidewalks.
Piñatas.
Chickens roaming dirt roads, pecking at old chewing gum and fruit pits.
El Pico Bonito.
Rainbows at Golosón Airport.
Miles and miles of pineapples... sprouting prodigiously up out of the clay, bound for everywhere else in the world.
Men who cut the pineapples - their heads wrapped in t-shirts under the violent sun.
I think of my grandmother frying maduros and eggs (the smell of heaven) and of my aunt shelling garbanzo beans, fanning herself intermittently, a chunk of ice bobbing in a glass of South American wine at her elbow.
I think of driftwood and trash and seaweed, of cheap rum and unwashed gringos, and of Sopa de Mariscos with a whole crab claw in the center, served with a plastic spoon.
I think of greasy paper napkins and glittering Garifuna waiters, in bowties.
And the smell of the sea.
I think of tilting, stinking streets, blaring music, and a sun which burns my forehead in seconds.Pouty little girls beckoning me into the air-condition shops: “Pase(n) joven!”
I can barely hear their voices.
I think of homes on stilts which pose -like rabbits frozen in fear- along a blustering beachfront, and of my dying grandfather’s words:
I have a pretty tough eye when it comes to houses. I've seen a lot of disgusting stuff in my day, and I like to think that I'm able to look past it. Indeed, I can tour at a home with caved ceilings, dead animals, frozen puke and yanked pipes, and STILL squeal with glee at a buffet or stained-glass transom... you see, I am an optimist.
And I like to transform things.
However, I am here to tell you that new house 1.0 (aka the next-door house) was NASTY... even to me.
NASTY. NASTY. NASTY.
I'll spare you photographic documentation of the worst. It's really too gross for mass consumption. (Let's just say it involves excrement.)
However, I will show you the ceiling which I had to wash this afternoon, prior to painting:
(Unlike your average slumlord, I DO wash before I paint. That way my paint will actually stick!)
But never fear, this too shall be rectified.
And this house will become sweet even if I have to carry a barf bag along as I work on it.
No pics yet, but for those of you who remember that this blog started out as a tale of my purchase/restoration of the cottage, I am pleased to announce that I am now also the proud owner of the dump next door!
(You can see a thin slice of its decrepitastic-ness in the picture linked above.)
And now for the surprising news: I am moving there - at least for a while.
By myself.
I am actually quite pleased to finally become a real Northsider!
I am a licensed real estate broker with Century 21 Luger Realty, preservationist, fixer-upper-type-nut, sometimes-landlord, and all-around house-addict. I love everything from Queen Annes to Bungalows to Foursquares to Farmhouses.
minneapolisgirlatgmaildotcom is where you can reach me!