Friday, January 12, 2007

There is ALWAYS a REASON!!!

Have you ever been looking around a house, and wondered why something was there?

For example:


I cannot count on both hands the amount of times I've said to myself: "Now whyyyyyyy would somebody put some crappy shit like that up on their walls???"

"...and then PAINT IT robin's egg blue?"

"...and put Mopar stickers on it...?"

Or something like that.

Well, I'll tell you why:

It's because they're covering up some f-ed up plaster. Period. I have never encountered an alternate scenario. So, NOW, after four houses, I am finally smart. (mm-hmm) I see a room with wallboard and I calculate an extra week of work, which consists roughly of: A) yanking down the board and breaking it into small pieces, B) smashing out tons of plaster and lath, and C) hauling all that shit to the dump. (Not to mention -of course- hanging, taping, and sanding drywall after all of this, but whatever.)

*note* I am too cheap to rent a dumpster, so one must factor in extra pain when doing things the rantyway.

But anywayyyyyyyyyyyy...

Today I found even more proof to support my claim that THERE IS ALWAYS A REASON for weirdo crap you find in old houses.

So I yanked this old, metal sink cabinet, complete with cast-iron top/basin from the kitchen, in preparation to have the whole room re-done. I hired a cabinetmaker. He came and took measurements, and we made a deal. Yea. There was one little thing that I had not ripped out though.... it was a strange, built-out, backsplashy-deal that had been behind the sink-cabinet. It was only about six inches deep, so I had been lazy about pulling it out.

Well today I did.

And what did I find?

The effing waste pipe/vent-ish thing, in addition to going down, goes UP NEARLY FOUR FEET against the wall, next to where I want to put my sink cabinet.

For those of you who cannot visualize this, allow me to describe: If I do the cabinets the way I want, I will be standing there preparing dinner, while staring at a big, fat cast-iron PIPE coming out of my countertop. (Er, before it makes a right angle and courses the length of one entire wall, at just-above base-cabinet level, but just-below wall-cabinet level.)

Allow me to illustrate:


P.S. The pink wallpaper square exactly outlines the aforementioned "backsplashy-deal."

Perhaps I should have left the damn thing there.

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