Over North

"Who would ever want to live at 26th and Portland?!"

2011-12-21T16:34:00.000-08:00

I had this question asked of me once.

At the time, I responded immediately with the names of a couple of people I know who DO live at that intersection... one of whom occupies a glorious mansion attributable to T.P Healy. (And, I'd live there myself - in a heartbeat - if it meant I got to call one of the several glorious buildings there my home.)

But anyway, at the time I had no idea that this intersection was also once home to a particularly famous Minnesota resident!

What a world...

I regret that I never got to lay eyes on that home.

Historic Minneapolis Directories (Now online!)

2011-12-12T12:04:00.000-08:00

If you're interested in researching the history of a home in Minneapolis, one of the first places to hit for information is the Hennepin History Museum.* Down in the cozy basement research library, you'll find a wealth of fascinating resources, including but not limited to yellowed Sanborn maps, local history books, and of course my personal favorite... the dual-city "blue books." (Er, and the Minneapolis Directories!)

The HHM is an absolutely WONDERFUL place to visit, so I do recommend doing so in person when you have the chance. (And with a super-affordable annual membership fee of $35 per individual, perhaps consider membership as well?) BUT, if you just want to check something out in the ~~blue books~~ (ahem) Minneapolis Directories and don't have time to run over to HHM, guess what? They are now (partially) online!

OH THE EXCITEMENT!

(And thanks so very much to Heritage Preservation Commissioner, Champion of the Pioneers & Soldiers Cemetery, and all-around super-amazing local historian Sue Hunter Weir for the tip on this.)

*Located in the former George H. & Leonora Christian residence, the museum is also a charming point at which to begin a self-guided walking tour of the Washburn Fair Oaks Mansion District. (Perhaps best during...er... summer-time.)

Reflections on that first house, twelve years ago

2011-08-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

I will never forget the experience of purchasing my first house. More than so many other things one might expect, that place change the course of my life and helped define who I am as a person.

I was twenty-one years old at the time.

The house was an 1886 stick-Victorian duplex in the Phillips neighborhood. It was vacant, foreclosed, and winterized. The attic windows had fallen out and pigeons perched in the frames, cooing dismissively as I shivered on the sidewalk.

My budget was $40,000. I was a student and bartender at the time. I have no idea how the loan officer ever even managed to qualify me, given that I kept no records of my tips, but then again, those were different days of lending... my mortgage was sub-prime and the firm from which I got it has since gone out of business (as has the bank with whom I re-financed two years later in order to build an addition on the house.)

My parents disapproved mightily. I recall eating lunch together post-closing, and one of them (I can't remember which) saying “We kind of thought you were going to need us to co-sign for you on the loan. And we were going to say NO.”

My stepfather bought me a handgun, and a police investigator visited me the first week I owned the place. (He just walked right in -since all the door locks were broken- and handed me a wanted flier, asking if the individual pictured was my boyfriend, husband or roommate.)

I was off to an auspicious start.

As I had scraped together every last penny of tips from innumerable, insufferable bachelorette parties at the hotel where I tended bar in order to come up with a down-payment, it was something of a rude awakening when I had the water to the house turned on and discovered that the pipes had pretty much all frozen and burst.

I thought my mother would cry.

I moved in anyway, rationalizing that the SuperAmerica up the street had a public restroom, and that I only needed a day or two to get this situation figured out. (And then I closed myself up in my filthy, unpainted new bedroom to sob in terror and frustration.)

Ultimately, I got a small loan from my credit union (God bless credit unions) in order to repair the plumbing, but not before the ancient, brittle chimney blew off in the first of several spring storms. Luckily, it wasn't as expensive of a fix as I feared when I first spied those bricks strewn across the lawn from behind my floor-to-ceiling dining room windows. I developed an eye-tic which lasted for a month.

In the years that have followed, many people have asked me what drew me to real estate, and to fixing up old homes in particular. I'm still trying to figure out what the answer is. Clearly, it goes back further than this first home of mine. There's something visceral to me about homes. Especially the old ones. But certainly, this first house of mine is part of the equation.

That initial year was rife with stress. But what is easy to forget is the fact that it passed quickly, and that the following years were wonderful, and that the building gently transitioned into something quite beautiful.

That first year was a trial by fire. But the experiences and the memories have kept me going, and I'm proud to say that I would do it all over again if given the opportunity.

The Teddy-Bear Ladies

2011-07-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

The Up-Block-Down-House* has long been a perplexing study for my fellow house-historians and I.

As lovely and comfortable as it is, my home of the last 2.5 years is nonetheless riddled with oddities that have stumped even some of my best friends, highly-esteemed for their knowledge of turn-of-the-century architecture, as well as common twentieth-century home changes in Minneapolis.

Questions that have plagued us include:

Why is the second flight of foyer stairs steeper than the third?

Did my office used to be the kitchen?

Is the kitchen an addition?

Was the house ever duplexed?

Why are so many blocks stamped “UP” laid UPSIDE-DOWN?

Why is my house-mate’s studio floor different from the rest of the wood?

And the list goes on…

But I wasn’t thinking about ANY of this today.

In fact, I hadn’t thought of these things for quite some time. You see, I’ve grown comfortable in my home. Fond of it, in fact.

Those of you who have followed my blogging over the years may recall my mostly-chipper attitude about the acquisition of this house, even in the face of its utterly revolting state.

But what you may not know is that I actually hated this place. I hated it not for what it was, but rather for the change to my life which it signified.

I had been going through a breakup. a protracted, painful, mind-bending experience, about which even the closest of my friends were not really and truly informed.

I left my beloved Healy House to come here… to this… this… place. This place where I would live all alone, ripping filthy carpet and scrubbing filthy ceilings until (I thought) I became so fully coated in UBDH residue that my tears of rage and anguish would be absorbed by a crusty shell.

And indeed that happened. And I lived like that for some time.

A hermit of sorts, as I struggled to figure out who I was, where I was, and what it all meant. And for a time, it pretty much sucked.

But then Ken came. With his dinosaur. And his dog.

And BFF came.

And Uncle Ray.

And Gordy the neighbor (King of the Roasted Peep.)

And then Geri(P)atric.

And before I knew it, we were painting. And we were decorating. And we were cooking and living like undamaged people.

And we were celebrating holidays.

And at some point along the way, it became my home. Along with all of these people, and this neighborhood, and these dogs.

And I became whole again, without even really noticing the specific moment at which that occurred.

So as it happens, and as I prepare to sell this place and move onto the next exciting phase in my life, it was all of THIS that I was considering today, with a great sense of comfort and satisfaction, when I spied the white minivan pull up in front of the UBDH from the comfort of my –now lovely- front porch.

Three elderly women exited, all staring at my home. As they made their way into the street and toward my house, I caught myself thinking “are they looking at the dinosaur? No wait – it’s on vacation at the Nevermind Gallery in St. Paul… WHAT ON EARTH are the doing?”

They were smiling and giddy, and as they came closer, I saw that two of them were holding teddy bears, and the third a digital camera.

Before I could react, they saw me on the porch and one of them giggled, before stating loudly “well we should ask HER!”

Slightly embarrassed at having been caught spying from my porch, I got up and walked out to meet them.

And oh…

It turned out that two of them were sisters. Sisters who had grown up in THIS, MY HOUSE – THIS UP-BLOCK-DOWN-HOUSE, FIFTY YEARS AGO.

I nearly fainted when they told me that.

I wish I could adequately describe either their happiness or mine, but words truly escape me with respect to that particular sense. But suffice it to say, I was overwhelmed. In a good way.

We took photos of them on the front stoop with their childhood teddy bears, and I invited them in to see (after so many years) the same funny staircase, with the banister they had slid down as girls, and the porch that no longer has French doors (THE PORCH HAD FRENCH DOORS?!) and learn about how their parents housed a family of seven on just the first level of my house… because yes, in the middle of the last century, it was in fact used as a duplex.

And it brought tears to my eyes.

Though when I bought this place I didn’t think of it as a home, it WAS a home to others in the past. So special, in fact, that they came back 50 years later, from places like Elk River and Andover, to see if it was still here. And they brought their teddy bears.

And in spite of its long hiatus as a vacant, broken-down foreclosure…

…and before that a rental by a notorious slumlady…

…site of chronic drug-dealing and heart-wrenching family violence…

It has become a safe and wonderful home AGAIN.

My home.

*So named by the BFF for the curious inversion of several basement blocks, embossed with the letters UP

Community Land Trust = Most Expensive Affordable Housing in Hawthorne?

2011-07-28T15:34:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have noticed my soft spot for the Hawthorne neighborhood.

I’m not sure if it’s that I just always love the underdog, or perhaps a challenge, but whatever it is, I find myself paying an inordinate amount of attention to this small neighborhood on the opposite end of the Northside from my own.*

In terms of real estate values, Hawthorne may well be the single most depressed neighborhood in all of the City of Minneapolis. Indeed, over the last four months, the average sold price for single-family residences in that neighborhood was a mere $39,085.

(click to enlarge)

So knowing this, and being able to count a healthy and growing number of friends who today live MORTGAGE-FREE in NoMi as a result of these ridiculously low prices, is it any wonder that I was a little taken aback to hear that the non-profit Urban Homeworks had decided to sell their newest Hawthorne listing as a Community Land Trust property?

What does this mean, you may ask? Right right – let’s talk about exactly what that means:

The City of Lakes Community Land Trust promotes a model of “homeownership” which is supposed to preserve affordability, among other things. Here’s a little background from their website:

The City of Lakes Community Land Trust resulted from a collective, committed effort by Minneapolis residents and neighborhood associations to preserve affordable housing ownership in their community.

In late 2001, a collaboration of Powderhorn Residents Group (PRG), Seward Redesign, Powderhorn Park Neighborhood Association (PPNA), and the Lyndale Neighborhood Development Corporation (LNDC) began educating themselves on best practices relating to creating and stabilizing affordability in their neighborhoods.

Through research, community conversations, an environmental scan, and the identification of opportunities, the collaborative group determined that there was a significant need in the City of Minneapolis to form a Community Land Trust (CLT).

Housed and incubated by PRG, the collaboration incorporated as the City of Lakes Community Land Trust (CLCLT) in August 2002 and acquired its 501(c)(3) status in August 2003.

The CLCLT hired its first staff person in October 2002. Current CLCLT staff consists of three employees (two full-time and one part-time). To date, the CLCLT has assisted over 70 low- and moderate-income households into CLCLT homeownership since the fall of 2004 and anticipates adding another 20-30 households over the next 18-24 months.

The mission of the CLCLT is to provide and foster stewardship of perpetually affordable home ownership opportunities for low- and moderate-income families throughout Minneapolis and is achieved through three major objectives, including:

• Assisting households that otherwise would never be able to purchase a home responsibly in having the ability to do so;• Ensuring that, if and when the homeowner(s) decide to sell, the CLCLT is there to keep the home(s) affordable for other income-qualified households; and• Provide support necessary for CLCLT homeowners be successful in homeownership.

Nationally, there are over 150 CLT’s, which work to create perpetually affordable housing while simultaneously balancing escalating housing market appreciation with the ability to meet housing needs for low- to moderate-income homebuyers.

CLT’s provide permanently affordable housing by owning the land of a particular property but selling the home on the land to an income-qualified buyer. The homeowner then leases the land from the CLT through a 99-year, renewable ground lease.

The ground lease connects the homeowner to the community and to keeping the house permanently affordable by including a resale formula that determines the home’s CLT sale price and the homeowner’s share of the home’s increased value at the time of sale.

This mechanism facilitates the initial investment made in the home by public and private subsidy sources remaining with the home to make it affordable to subsequent, income-qualified buyers.

Now, that’s all well and good, and I’m very pleased about their three staff people and their commitment to affordability and all… but it really begs the question: Isn’t Hawthorne affordable ENOUGH already? And frankly, considering the fact that the property in question is currently listed at $130,000 (more than THREE TIMES the average sale price over the last four months in this neighborhood) one has to ask, is this really about affordability?

And yes, I am sure that the UH property is (will be when the rehab is completed) in better condition than much of its active competition in Hawthorne right now. And if anyone wants to check, here's that inventory list:

(once again, click to enlarge)

But here are two important things to keep in mind with respect to that notion:

First, a CLT sale includes the house ONLY. So, for one hundred and thirty thousand dollars, you, my friend, do not actually become the owner of real estate. You become the owner of an improvement (the house) and enter into a lease for the land.

Second, even if the competing houses are in poorer shape, they are SO much cheaper, that even when combined with rehab costs, they’re mostly going to end up more affordable than the UH/CLT property.

So, what gives?

I’d really like to know, personally… because I find this highly perplexing.

Oh, and here's the house:

I do admit that it's got good bones...

But so do a whole lot of other homes in Hawthorne that wouldn't sell for such a price in this decade.

*Oh, and I also love a deal – so there’s that as well.

Glazing your own windows

2011-04-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

When I show older homes to buyers, I often hear concerns about windows. Indeed, it seems like nearly once a week I have some client telling me that the windows in a given listing "need to be replaced." I try to be delicate in my disagreement, despite the fact that this totally drives me nuts.

As I've said to many a friend and many a client, I really have to hand it to the replacement window industry - they have worked hard to inculcate the notion that old windows are bad, so much so that it seems to have become a FACT in our culture. Bravo to them. That takes some doing.

Perhaps the reason that preservationists have not been more successful at contradicting this ~~FACT~~ myth is that we lack a product to sell.

But, I digress. What I really want to write about here is glazing your own (old!) windows so that they last you forever, and avert the tragedy that would be tossing old windows into a landfill and spending a bunch of money on some crap that can most likely never be repaired when some part of it breaks.

Specifically, I want to tell you that it is EASY!

Window glazing is a task about which I have long been nervous, and I've always avoided it by bringing broken windows to the hardware store for glazing. (This, of course, is perfectly fine as well if you're not into the whole DIY experience, and it's not overly expensive.) I had always heard that it was a dicey process, and the idea of screwing it up scared me more that it should have.

Enter my fellow house-addicted BFF.

His old house had a TON of multi-paned windows. ONE TON, I tell you. Un montón de ventanas. And of course, the glazing was old and in need of replacement. (We don't buy anything other than fixer-uppers, obviously.) He was determined to glaze them himself.

And he did.

And he told me it was easy.

And I was all, like "OMG! Show me how!"

So he did. It was very exciting.

Here's more or less how we did it:

Step #1 for a broken window is (duh) to removed the broken glass and clean out the old glazing, paint, or whatever gunkiness might be along the small ledge where the glass sits, and then place the pane of glass in. (If you're just replacing old and crumbly glazing, no need to remove and replace the pane, clearly.)

Step #2 is to wedge the points in. You can do this with your putty knife, as the points come with a handy-dandy little ledge under under which to jam the knife and press them into the wood. I have no idea if there's some general rule about how many to put in (I didn't bother googling that part) but we just put 3-4 on each side of average-sized double-hung sash, figuring that was good enough.

Step #3 is the beginning of the fun part. Do you like play-doh? I love play-doh. (Who doesn't like play-doh?)

Take a glob of putty out and start rolling it between your hands like you're making a bread-stick. Lay it along the edge of the glass, covering the points. Press it in a bit with your fingers. Repeat all around. (I forgot to take a picture of this step. I was over-stimulated by the play-doh.)

Step #4 brings the putty knife back into the picture. First, with your knife perpendicular to the sash (and the putty bead,) start pulling the putty up and away from the pane, toward the wood. Scrape the knife (and the putty) up against the wood edge. Do this along the entire edge. Scrape scrape scrape. This helps jam the putty into the corner.

Step #5 is the most technical part. This is where you smooth it out and make it look all lovely. For this step, your knife should be angled, and you'll go in a direction that is parallel to the wood edge, rather than perpendicular. Start in a corner and scrape SLOWLY from one end of the particular edge to the other. If the putty is pulling up behind your knife, you may be going TOO FAST. Slow down.

Step #6 Clean up any lines of putty excess that were cut away in your smoothing strokes.

Step #7 Admire your handiwork and tell all of your friends.

NOTE:

Putty is temperature-sensitive. Try to do this work either indoors or on a relatively warm (but hopefully not sweltering) day outdoors. Also note that it can take up to a month for the putty to cure enough to hold paint. Check your product container for details.

Also, do you know what this is is the photo below?

This is a broken window pane that someone had siliconed into the frame. Please do not do that. It makes the pane VERY difficult to remove. It also looks ugly, and is just all-around annoying. Thank you.

More recycling woes

2011-03-28T09:13:00.000-07:00

There must be something in the air, because just as I was preparing to write about my annoyance over mis-use of recycling containers, I discovered that North by Northside had already beaten me to it.

So, as Jeff has pretty much covered this issue, I'll spare you all my rant (but please do read his.)

I'll just leave you with the above visual of how this issue is currently manifested over here in UWHO.

RIP GeriPatric

2011-03-09T10:50:00.000-08:00

One day early last summer, as I was out gardening in the front yard, I spotted a lanky dog meandering down the road. Owner-less and collar-less, he sniffled about in leisurely way, completely oblivious to the oddness of his presence.

I called my roommate who, having a dog of his own that he regularly walked through the neighborhood, might recognize this old gent.

As it happened, the roommate did not know the dog, but took him all over town in search of the home from which he had surely escaped.

One month later, after numerous trips, emails, posts to lost dog fora/craigslist/petfinder, calls to the humane society and animal control in two cities, it began to dawn on us that this dog could end up ours for good.

We struggled with a name. He was so old and grey, we had taken to calling him Geriatric. But, a friend informed us that such a thing seemed rude... and suggested GeriPatric. It stuck.

Shortly after Geri's arrival into our lives, we lost my roommate's dog Jacques. One day he simply could not use his back end any longer. Recently, the same thing happened to Geri.

So today, we say goodbye to GeriPatric as well.

Geri will be most remembered for his random voluntary trips to places like Broadway Liquor Outlet (he forgot to bring money) and Fire and Ice, as well as his surprisingly deft pizza-stealing abilities.

Geri was also quite tolerant of our various foster puppies.

Rest in peace, Geri.

Simple and inexpensive ways to make your home shine

2011-02-11T16:23:00.000-08:00

In this crazy housing market, I spend a lot of time talking with sellers about the relative value of improvements to their homes.

While each case is different, given varying degrees of equity, home locations and styles, etc, there are some constants invariably apply across the board.

The first one is PAINT. PAINT! It is ALWAYS a good idea to make sure your home is well-painted. Paint is so cheap, especially relative to the value of the impression a good paint job makes on a prospective buyer. If you only do one single thing to prepare your house for sale, I recommend PAINTING. (Have I said that enough? And with enough capital letters? Let's give it one more try: PAAAAAAAAAAAAINT!)

I don't recommend white, either. Although painting everything white is still better than not painting at all, presuming the walls are anything less than perfect to begin with. Consult home decor magazines, the internet, or your real estate agent for tips on what colors would work best for your home. (Also note: I'm talking primarily about interior here, but the same rules apply for exterior as well. If your color is anything less than fresh, I recommend a paint job. And there should be NO PEELING PAINT ANYWHERE AT ALL. Just trust me on this.)

The second thing is lighting. Pay attention to it. Have enough of it. And try not to have it all be from Home Depot, if possible. I highly recommend lamps. Lower wattage bulbs with soft, warm light are highly superior to those super-bright CFLs, for the record. Even if you want to save the planet with the decreased energy usage that CFLs provide, I recommend swapping them out for soft incandescents AT LEAST just for the period during which your home is on the market. You will see the difference and so will the buyers.

And third, if you have natural woodwork, consider its condition. Is it dull? Are there any scratches or paint splatters? It's not difficult to clean up those small mars and then spruce up the wood with a fresh coat of stain or shellac. I know because I've just done it in my home.

When we live in a house for some time, it can be easy to grow used to the little faults and blemishes, and stop seeing them. But believe me, buyers will see them. So it's important to look at your home with a fresh eye when sizing up the need for cosmetic fixes prior to listing.

And, on the subject of woodwork, another cheap and easy way to give your rooms a boost is adding some sort of trim-work. That could be chair-rail, picture-rail, or crown moulding. In my house, I just had picture-rail installed in the living and dining rooms. The total cost for the wood itself was under $60.00, and with stain, mastic and nails it was still well under $100 (I'm guessing conservatively here because I already had the additional supplies.)

I wish I had a before photo, because these rooms in my house were disgusting when I moved in. White walls, splattered woodwork, dingy light fixtures with icy CFL bulbs, the works. It was awful. But with just a bit of paint, lighting and woodwork help, we now have this:

And yes, in case you were wondering, I am thinking of selling my home this year, and finding yet another fixer-upper. I am totally addicted to this process.

Know anyone in the market?

Don't buy high and sell low

2011-02-09T12:37:00.000-08:00

Alex Stenback has a GREAT post over at Behind the Mortgage, which anyone interested in real estate should -I think- go and read immediately.

Alex hits on something that has perplexed me for a long time, and that is the sort of herd mentality that many people have about real estate.

As far back as eight years ago, it seemed like everyone around me was into buying real estate. At parties and social gatherings, new homes and home projects were a constant topic. If a renter was uncovered in the room it was highly likely that s/he would be overwhelmed with bossy proclamations about how s/he was missing out THE GREATEST OPPORTUNITY EVERRRRRR... because homeownership and real estate was totally where it was at.

I had a friend who bought a small condo off of Excelsior at 38th in St. Louis Park. He got seriously lucky over the whole Excelsior/Grand development, and sold for a tidy profit. I was pleased for him. But then he took the money and invested it into no fewer than ELEVEN different rental properties, all of which he paid top dollar for.

I remember discussing the shift with him and expressing concern that the rents may not be sufficient to cover his loan payments, given the high prices of the properties he was purchasing. He told me that he'd make it work with fat Section-8 rents, and that he wasn't worried, because even if that didn't work out, he'd still realize appreciation on the values and could sell the properties if need be.

Well, a couple of years later, he was in bankruptcy. And, the worst part in my view was that he didn't even have a homestead. After selling his condo, he plowed all the gain into investment property down-payments and then rented an apartment for himself. (Interestingly, it seemed that he didn't care to live in the neighborhoods where he invested, which is why he didn't occupy one of his own units. That set off a red flag of an entirely different nature, which I'll save for a future post.)

At any rate, this friend's situation was particularly dramatic, but there were others who got in over their heads even with their primary residences. You probably know a person or two like that - it seems these days that we all do.

So why did everybody believe they needed to buy? Why were buyers engaging in bidding wars, pushing home prices skyward in their desperation to experience ownership?

I really have no idea, to tell you the truth.

Just like I have no idea why today, when home prices are in the tank and half the houses in my neighborhood could be owned for ONE HALF of the monthly expense of renting around here, many people are still terribly hesitant to buy.

Alex called it a "fear bubble."

And I get that. Some people are scared that prices will continue to fall. But consider this: Unlike with price increases, which theoretically could continue on into oblivion, price decreases do actually have a lower bound. A forty thousand dollar house can only decrease to zero/FREE. (Do you think sellers will start giving homes away for free? I suppose it's technically possible.)

But let's say you find a forty thousand dollar house and its value plummets to zero in the course of four years. That's about $834 in value lost per month.

Which is cheaper than the average rent for a three bedroom unit.

So do you really win by renting?

(And we haven't even gotten into things like mortgage interest deduction, potential rental income in the case of duplexes, etc.)

It's time to pop the "fear bubble."

Anonymous threats and stalking - why Northsiders don't want to talk

2011-02-08T11:39:00.000-08:00

As Sheila Regan and Ed Kohler both illustrated lately in the Twin Cities Daily Planet and The Deets, there's a bit of drama swirling around the Northside blogosphere these days.

What's unfortunate is that the most nefarious aspects are being perpetuated under a cloak of anonymity.

There's been plenty of speculation as to the identity or identities of the "Jordan Hawkman Group*" but of course, unless someone sues them (or Blogger/Google) it seems unclear as to whether or how these theories can be proven. (But in case you haven't been following the story, word on the street is that it's at least partially Don Allen. Hence the above-linked stories causing a backlash on JHG.)

In the meantime, the angry personality(ies?) hiding behind this moniker are having a grand old time spreading misinformation and -in some cases- outright lies about a variety of Northsiders.

Is it any wonder that nobody wants to talk?

Here's an email I received from "Jane Doe" just today:

from Jane Doe
to Minneapolis Girl
date Tue, Feb 8, 2011 at 9:59 AM
subject Constance E. Nompelis
signed-by rocketmail.com
hide details 9:59 AM (2 hours ago)
Don't feel left out as of late, we have not been forgetting about you.

JHG has a few questions for you:

1. How is the completion of the TISH orders coming along for your North Minneapolis House?

2. Were you involved in any way with the Jeff Skrenes accident? In any case, was there alcohol involved in his accident?

3. Have you ever been investigated for Real Estate transactions? Which ones?

As you well know, we keep our word as to what is on the record and off the record. If we dig up the answers on our own we have moved forward with stories. As stated before, we are willing to put up your side of the story....your call.

Your friends at JHG

For the record, this is not the first time I've been contacted by JHG, and while the questions in this particular message are mostly related to me, in the past they've attempted to blackmail me for info about others. Take this message, for example:

from Jane Doe
to Minneapolis Girl
date Sat, Aug 28, 2010 at 8:17 AM
subject Time
signed-by rocketmail.com
hide details 8/28/10
What's it going to be?

We know you represented the buyer side of Goodmundson's house among other things. We have known this all along, yet have not brought it up when there were logical times to publish it. That should prove that JHG can be Connie friendly.

Now would be the appropriate time to slide us information that focuses our attention towards Hoff and Goodmundson. There are others working with us already. Don't be late to the party, because it will not count if you are.

The dumbest part about it all though, is that threats of exposure *should* only work if the threatened party has actually done something wrong. The JHG have implied OVER and OVER again that I had some unethical or illegal role in Megan Goodmundson's home transaction, but the reality is that I did not. The JHG have also implied OVER and OVER again that I have romantic relations with any number of Northside characters, but the reality is that I do not.

So why should I (or anyone else) be afraid?

Well, because they lie. And lies really suck.

And I know a dozen other people over here who won't dare say one word about any of the local issues because they're afraid of some anonymous-lying-COWARD-blogger posting lies about THEM TOO.

Which really is a terrible shame.

I spent a few months trying to ignore this whole mess, hoping that it would just die down, and feeling like the best response was none at all. However, things have not in fact died down.

So, I decided to respond.

******

Oh, and for the record, I'm happy to answer the questions posed in the initial email. Here goes:

1) All the corrections have been made. (PS - Did you notice the beautiful new paint job on my home? I know you drive by it a lot as part of your intimidation efforts.)

2) Nope. Jeff's car accident took place in Northeast Minneapolis and I was nowhere near him at the time. (But how nice of you to take the friendly act of picking him up and driving him to the hospital and try to twist that into something seedy.)

3) Not unless it's been so super-secret that I wasn't informed about it. (And not unless your obsessive googling and defamatory insinuations count... which I don't believe they do.)

*Which I REFUSE to link to. If you want to read that garbage and you don't already know where it is, please consult with Google.

Reflections while scrubbing woodwork

2011-02-05T19:21:00.000-08:00

When I first bought the house I now live in, I basically hated it. And not only did I basically hate it, but in uncharacteristic fashion, I had little hope that my sentiments would ever change. Part of it was due to the extreme nature of its hose-up-ness, but also, I now realize, in part due to the particularly grumpy stage of life I was passing through at the time.

In any event, two years later, much has evolved for the positive, both for the house and for my general disposition.

As I ponder the various options this new year has brought to me, I cannot help but also reflect upon the amazing transformation of this house, and my attitude toward it.

There are still things to be done, for sure. But Now I look at them with (mostly) good humor, and I know that they can be accomplished. I also know that this house has finally become a home. And I like it.

Remembering the Petro Stop

2011-02-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

Here are some not-so-great photos of some REALLY GREAT photos:

Using your IRA to invest in real estate

2011-02-02T11:07:00.000-08:00

Did you know that it's possible to invest in real estate with funds from a self-directed IRA?

Yeah, I didn't either until several months ago, when I learned about it from a savvy new client from another state, who I helped purchase in just this fashion, here in Minnesota. I was a little uncertain about how the whole thing worked, so I consulted an estate planning attorney, several custodian firms, and -of course- the internet.

What I found was that it's a surprisingly simple process!

There are some restrictions of course, and it's always wise to consult tax and estate-planning professionals when considering purchasing real estate for any purpose, whether investment or homeownership.

Nevertheless, it's always exciting to learn and share information about new ways to invest in real estate!

Creative houses from reclaimed stuff

2010-12-27T12:04:00.000-08:00

This is amazing and inspiring.

The Hounds of Hell

2010-08-01T13:38:00.000-07:00

I love dogs. Really I do.

I have had dogs since I was a kid - mostly large breeds, and some (well, one) with socialization issues. I understand that dogs are a lot of work, and that sometimes they have genetic or puppyhood-related personality issues which can be challenging. I am totally sympathetic to this.

Nevertheless, it ultimately an owner's responsibility to keep their animals under control, and - if they have socialization issues - away from other people/dogs/etc to which they might do harm.

Unfortunately, not everybody seems to get that. And what is even MORE unfortunate, is that it seems often the folks who are most irresponsible with their animals happen to own breeds which ALREADY face challenges due to perceptions of genetic propensities toward violence.

I am speaking, of course, of Pitbulls, Rottweilers and similar.

Take, for example, my neighbors. Not only do they have three huge Rottweilers that live 24/7 outside, are un-fixed, bark and snarl their brains out ALL FREAKING DAY, but, on TOP OF THAT, their fence is so broken-down that the animals regularly escape and terrorize the neighborhood. I myself have called animal control no less than three times over the last two years when these animals escaped.

I feel sorry for them, really. The dogs, I mean. They have a terrible life. They are stuck in the hot sun in a dirt yard all day and night, with nothing to do - they don't get walked EVER... but seriously people. This is not cool:

FLOW - Northside Arts Crawl!

2010-07-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't already know, Saturday, July 24th is the date of the 2010 FLOW Northside Arts Crawl!

We have an exceptional number of talented artists in the area, several of which I am lucky enough to have as neighbors... and you should really come and check them out!

The map and event list is not yet up, but check back here and/or www.flownorthside.org for details in the near future. The event runs from 3PM to 8PM.

Oh, and there will be hooping, obviously!

I only act rude and insulting to strangers, obviously - my bad!

2010-07-06T20:09:00.001-07:00

So today I was taking the dog (one of them) around the block for a quick potty break (he's geri[p]atric and can't really hold it very long,) and I happened upon my neighbor to the east, sitting on her stoop drinking a beer. #NTTAWWT

Out of habit (admittedly) rather than sheer friendliness, I said hello to her as I passed. She looked up at me and stared for a moment.

And then she said: "Oh, I apologize for the other night. I didn't know it was YOU who asked us to turn the music down."

****flashback****

On Saturday night, the backyard of the property in question was filled with revelers from about the hour of 6PM onward. #NTTAWWT At some point, the stereo got turned up LOUD. Like, REALLY LOUD. Outside. Across the alley from me. From where I was stooped over in the yard, weeding.

And, I must say, it wasn't the delightful and slightly-relaxed R&B that had theretofore been playing... no... it was some song whose refrain included the word "B*TCH no less than three times per sentence.

So, I went over and did a charades move over the fence, indicated my hand turning down the volume. A guy went to turn it down, and as he did, no less than three other people reacted immediately with things like:

a) "Aw HELL NO,"

b) "Did that b*tch just tell you to turn it DOWN???

c) "Man, turn that sh*t UPPPP!!!

****/flashback****

So, what was most interesting to me about the situation (besides the fact that, blessedly, the music did in fact stay down for the rest of the evening and we had no other issues,) was the fact that the owner herself was one of the people yelling (it would seem,) and, that she realized that it's not okay to talk to a NEIGHBOR that way.

But I guess anybody else is fair game.

Or something.

But, she did apologize!

#NTTAWWT = not that there's anything wrong with that

NoMi Chickens?

2010-07-05T19:10:00.000-07:00

(image from www.mypetchicken.com - a fantastic and highly-informative site)

So, I was seriously thinking about urban chickens BEFORE spotting a random free one on the dog walk this evening... but I must admit the sighting got me even more interested. (Where did that chicken come from??? I know of at least one person with chickens in North Minneapolis, but they are not close by to where we spotted this little hen.)

Anyway, we shall see. It could be fun. Need more research first though...

Anybody want some Allium seed?

2010-07-05T13:22:00.000-07:00

These things have produced a MASSIVE amount of seeds.

From what I have read it seems that they make take a couple of years to flower when planted from seed (as opposed to bulb) but hey, seeds are fun, and free.

Dandelion Pie

2010-06-30T17:30:00.001-07:00

So this ginormous dandelion was kind of annoying me. I kept meaning to pull it, and then forgetting, and then noticing it again... until it became a giant monster.

Today I just couldn't take it anymore.

So I yanked it.

And I blanched it.

Added some fresh mint, oregano, cheeses, onion and egg...

And I ate it.

Lost my "found" dog!

2010-06-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

If anybody sees him... please contact me at minneapolisgirlatgmaildotcom.

I miss my Geri[p]atric.

:-(

Beautiful NoMi

2010-05-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

NoMi - Deeper Inquiry

2010-05-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

Preservation Forum

2010-02-27T11:35:00.000-08:00

Alright kids, I've been sitting on this for a while because I wanted to make it look a little prettier before I shared it... but since Johnny beat me to the punch, I guess I'll just open it up.

Check out the preservation forum. It's still quite bare-bones, and needs a splash page, etc... but it's up, and I welcome your feedback if you're interested.

A Proposal for the Sheltering Arms House

2010-02-20T14:08:00.000-08:00

The Sheltering Arms House is a massive, vacant, four-unit structure at 2648 Emerson Avenue North. It has a charming façade, with what appears to be original wood lap siding, double-decker front porches, and –while I have not been inside- I am told that the interior still holds much woodwork and other quality original features.

Per the MLS, the City of Minneapolis acquired this property on January 7, 2010 for a price of $17,500. The cumulative days on market prior to close are listed at 67. So, it was for sale for a little over two months before the City closed on it. However, the “off-market date” which we can use to speculate approximately when the purchase agreement was signed and delivered, is December 16, 2010.

(These dates are important because they refute any potential argument about the house being un-marketable to private buyers. The house was not languishing on the market for an unreasonable amount of time.)

The City acquired this property for the purpose of demolition and land-banking, according to staff of the Hawthorne Neighborhood Council.

So the first question is: Why?

Why didn’t the City leave this house for a private investor to purchase and renovate? We have no indications that this house is or was un-salable, nor do we have any illustration of it being deteriorated beyond reasonable hope of repair.

Subsequent to the City’s initial moves to purchase, neighbors began to research a bit of the history, and learned of the house’s beginnings as the Sheltering Arms orphanage. While I will not personally make the argument here that such information qualifies it as historic, it is only because I do not deem that necessary.

What I mean to say is: random demolition of single structures around the city should be a last-resort – saved only for those cases where a home is NOT SALVAGEABLE. This is especially true in our older neighborhoods, where the removal of a home which fits the character of the street will cause an obvious hole; a discontinuity that damages the flow of the block.

The Sheltering Arms house is valuable to the block, and valuable to the community, because –as a structure- it contributes to the architectural and cultural fabric thereof. The fact that it has an interesting history is gravy.

(One need only look at the Phillips neighborhood[s] in order to understand the impact of piecemeal demolition on block character and integrity. The most stable residential blocks in those neighborhoods are, were, and will continue to be the blocks which have the most original structures, which, incidentally, are overwhelmingly occupied by their owners.)

But anyway, today I am less interested in elaborating the folly of these past demolitions than I am in helping determine where we go from here.

The Sheltering Arms house is a good place to begin. It still stands, and it does not have to come down.

But beyond that, what?

There are a few options, the more conventional of which involve the City giving/selling the place to developer, either non-profit or for-profit, for rehabilitation.

I am a fan of a less-conventional method, myself… an approach which I think will ultimately be better for the house, the block, and the neighborhood.

I propose that the City GIVE THE STRUCTURE AWAY.

As in, a lottery.

The neighborhood and other interested individuals could spread the word far and wide, and I am confident that many folks would throw their hats into the ring. Why? Because the house is free. And because it’s got potential to be a beautiful place. And an interesting history.

Of course there should be a few rules involved in entering this lottery, such as:

Owner agrees to enter into a restoration agreement with the City, and post a bond of some amount which is returned after some amount of time.

Owner agrees to occupy the house for some number of years. (There should be some monetary penalty if they cease to comply before the term is completed.)

Owner can provide proof of qualification for a loan (or of cash funds) in some amount for the rehab. (But let’s not be unreasonable here – they should be permitted to do some things with sweat-equity, like painting, sanding their own floors, etcetera.)

It is very simple. The City gets rid of the house (and taxpayer dollars do not have to be spent to demolish it,) someone gets a new home, and the neighborhood gets to maintain an architectural asset AND gain an invested owner-occupant.

Or, you know, we could just go with another vacant lot. I'm not sure NoMi has quite enough of those yet...

Minnesota Daily reports on the Johnny Northside suit

2009-06-30T18:39:00.000-07:00

Part one of a two-part series...

"...on controversy surrounding former University employee Jerry Moore."

Huh.

Johnny Northside sued for defamation

2009-06-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

Check it out.

This should be interesting.

Newest restaurant in NoMi

2009-06-27T06:04:00.001-07:00

Kurtis reviews Victory 44.

You should really check it out for yourself...

The Adventures of Johnny Northside: Welcome to the Neighborhood

2009-05-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

A little teaser:

Because I am such a lazy blogger these days...

2009-05-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

... I am just going to link to info about the party tomorrow night. (I mean, why duplicate the effort, right?)

If any blog-o-friends want to come and see the new house, just send me an email for the address.

Discoveries on the Boulevard

2009-04-13T07:44:00.000-07:00

So, I'm a city person.

While I do know a few things about commonly cultivated flowers and shrubs, my naturalist tendencies terminate at the garden edge. I can barely tell one tree from another, and I certainly don't know anything about mushrooms.

So I have to ask...

Is it just me or do these look sorta like Morels?

2515 3rd St. North

2009-04-12T06:06:00.001-07:00

Well now, THIS sure looks safe.

Also, I wonder why their plumbing permit costs more than twice the rear-demo permit?

And doesn't excavation require its own permit too...?

This is all very interesting.

2519 3rd St. North

2009-04-12T05:30:00.000-07:00

Sigh.

Perplexing.

On the new-house front...

2009-03-24T05:15:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I left everyone hanging here with regard to the Hawthorne house.

We did finally close! And the insurance inspector* comes today (shiver.)

Pictures to follow shortly.

*Properties in distressed condition often do not qualify for market insurance, and therefore need "MN Fair Plan" coverage, which is not only more expensive, but also requires an inspection.

Thinking about buying a foreclosure?

2009-03-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

Come to my seminar at the Housing and Home Improvement Fair! I'll be there from about noon to 2, and the seminar is at 12:30PM. Check in at the NoMi booth for info.

****

Join us at the 4th Annual North Housing & Home Improvement Fair!
www.northhousingfair.com
Saturday, March 21, 2009
10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.
North High School -
1400 Knox Ave N
Your one stop shop!

Financial Counselors available all day!
How-to Seminars Resources for prospective home buyers
Talk with Contractors
Financial resources and education Resources for Home Improvement and Maintenance Resources for Re-Financing
Resources for Mortgage Foreclosure
Preventing Equity Stripping
Special Financing offers for those living in zip codes 55405, 55411, 55412 and 55430

Vendor displays will be available with reputable contractors, real estate agents, lenders and community resources to neighborhood residents.

This event is free and open to the public.

JOIN us for the following seminars presented by The NOMI Project:

Seminar #1 - Purchase Renovation:

~Imagine the future of YOUR home – overlook the “shortcomings” with a plan~ONE time YOUR loan; don’t charge the home improvement projects~Setting the stage; a timeline start to finish Purchase Renovation will be presented by Nicole Doran at 2:00pm -

Nicole Doran has been working in real estate for a total of 11 years. One of her passions is renovation financing. Nicole lived out her dream of renovating a home in the city; she knew before her real estate career that there is great power in community and economic development.

Nicole’s first home in the Jordan neighborhood of North Minneapolis was a purchase renovation. Not only has she been part of the revitalization of her community but, now she has a passion for empowering others to contribute in a similar way, through purchase renovation. She now lives in Willard-Hay.

Nicole is a Home Mortgage Consultant for Wells Fargo Home Mortgage and specialized in community lending including purchase renovation financing. Nicole is involved in North Minneapolis community and economic development projects. In addition, she is a masters candidate at Humphrey Institute of Public Affairs enrolled in the Executive program, “Community Economic Development”.

Seminar #2 - Buying a Foreclosed Property

~PREPARE-PREPARE-PREPARE! Assembling a team and marshalling resources
~EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED! What you will see and experience while shopping foreclosures
~NOW WHAT? Closing, technical issues, and what happens once you\'ve got the keys to your new palace.

Buying a Foreclose Property will be presented by Constance Nompelis at 12:30pm -

Constance Nompelis has been investing in real estate since 2000, when she bought her first vacant and foreclosed duplex in the Ventura Village Neighborhood. She has since bought and renovated both single and multi-family properties in Phillips West, Powderhorn, Central and Willard-Hay, and will soon begin a new project in Hawthorne.

Constance is also a Realtor with Century 21 Luger Realty, where she specializes in selling distressed, foreclosed and/or historic properties in Minneapolis. Five of the properties she purchased for her own investment were foreclosures, and she has sold numerous other foreclosed homes to her clients.

Constance has long been a proponent of connecting homebuyers to communities, and keeps up with activities, programs and individuals in a variety of neighborhoods across the city. She also serves as Housing Committee Chair in the Central Neighborhood, and is a board member of the Minneapolis Historic Homeowner Association.Constance blogs about renovation, preservation, and other local happenings and experiences both at http://thehealyhouse.blogspot.com and http://overnorth.blogspot.com. She currently lives in one of her renovation-project houses in the Willard-Hay neighborhood.

Hope to see you there!!

The Adventures of Johnny Northside... the MOVIE!

2009-03-16T15:35:00.001-07:00

This is going to be awesome:

http://www.johnnynorthsidemovie.com/

Or not...

2009-02-04T13:33:00.000-08:00

Closing delayed, due to lack of a code compliance inspection report.

Urgh.

Hopefully it will happen by the end of the month...

De-carpeting the world, one house at a time

2009-01-31T16:26:00.000-08:00

Alllllllllmost there... ALMOST!

God I cannot wait to be rid of the nasty stench from this filthy junk.

All that's left now is hauling out the bags and yanking a bit more tack strip and staples.

My hands are blistered.

And in other news, I'm closing on this house on Tuesday! Huzzah!

The Boiler

2009-01-26T08:07:00.000-08:00

It looks a little scary... but I'm pleased to report that the hulk is working like a dream.

On returning to Honduras

2009-01-25T20:29:00.000-08:00

When I think of Honduras...

I think of Baleadas – thick, tasteless wraps sold on the street and in convenience stores, stacked in tinfoil pyramids – cold, with beans and salty quesillo of unknown age and origin.

I think of lychees, hawked by children in 10-piece bags, their blood-red hairs crushed into plastic submission, looking like sea-urchins… purveyed by street urchins.

I think of flooded streets, market lean-tos painted watery green with amorphous figures huddled underneath against the driving rain, chewing tiny bananas and looking at me as I cower too, below a store awning across the street: drenched, myopic, alien.

I think of internet cafes with no connection, hotels with mildewed walls, sullen staff, and the smell of a hurricane on its way.

Broken-up sidewalks.

Piñatas.

Chickens roaming dirt roads, pecking at old chewing gum and fruit pits.

El Pico Bonito.

Rainbows at Golosón Airport.

Miles and miles of pineapples... sprouting prodigiously up out of the clay, bound for everywhere else in the world.

Men who cut the pineapples - their heads wrapped in t-shirts under the violent sun.

I think of my grandmother frying maduros and eggs (the smell of heaven) and of my aunt shelling garbanzo beans, fanning herself intermittently, a chunk of ice bobbing in a glass of South American wine at her elbow.

I think of driftwood and trash and seaweed, of cheap rum and unwashed gringos, and of Sopa de Mariscos with a whole crab claw in the center, served with a plastic spoon.

I think of greasy paper napkins and glittering Garifuna waiters, in bowties.

And the smell of the sea.

I think of tilting, stinking streets, blaring music, and a sun which burns my forehead in seconds. Pouty little girls beckoning me into the air-condition shops: “Pase(n) joven!”

I can barely hear their voices.

I think of homes on stilts which pose -like rabbits frozen in fear- along a blustering beachfront, and of my dying grandfather’s words:

“Oh, just leave Honduras to the Hondurans!”

But Papá… ¿Cómo?

Greasy Kitchen Ceiling

2009-01-19T16:54:00.000-08:00

I have a pretty tough eye when it comes to houses. I've seen a lot of disgusting stuff in my day, and I like to think that I'm able to look past it. Indeed, I can tour at a home with caved ceilings, dead animals, frozen puke and yanked pipes, and STILL squeal with glee at a buffet or stained-glass transom... you see, I am an optimist.

And I like to transform things.

However, I am here to tell you that new house 1.0 (aka the next-door house) was NASTY... even to me.

NASTY. NASTY. NASTY.

I'll spare you photographic documentation of the worst. It's really too gross for mass consumption. (Let's just say it involves excrement.)

However, I will show you the ceiling which I had to wash this afternoon, prior to painting:

(Unlike your average slumlord, I DO wash before I paint. That way my paint will actually stick!)

But never fear, this too shall be rectified.

And this house will become sweet even if I have to carry a barf bag along as I work on it.

Moving right along...

2009-01-18T10:51:00.000-08:00

Carpet-ripping was the only task I could think of which didn't require water, so that's what I've been doing at the house next door.

But yesterday was dewinterization day! Huzzah! Brown water and spraying radiators aside, I think it all worked out quite well.

Now I just have to babysit the 10,000-year-old boiler to make sure it doesn't quit.

Time to start cleaning...

I'm just sayin...

2009-01-11T12:31:00.001-08:00

This kind of stuff makes my heart palpitate:

(Thanks to JN for the photos.)

OMG

2009-01-10T11:01:00.000-08:00

I made an offer on another house today.

I'm not sure which scares me more: getting it or not getting it...

Even more ugly

2009-01-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

This actually kinda makes me want to puke.

(But I will transform it, don't worry.)

Ugly Duckling

2009-01-08T12:30:00.001-08:00

Okay, I'm back.

2009-01-07T15:31:00.000-08:00

No pics yet, but for those of you who remember that this blog started out as a tale of my purchase/restoration of the cottage, I am pleased to announce that I am now also the proud owner of the dump next door!

(You can see a thin slice of its decrepitastic-ness in the picture linked above.)

And now for the surprising news: I am moving there - at least for a while.

By myself.

I am actually quite pleased to finally become a real Northsider!

Well...

2008-11-13T15:27:00.001-08:00

Word on the street today is that this house in Old Highland is coming down.

What is PARTICULARLY disturbing is that a local non-profit developer HAD AN OFFER SUBMITTED on this house!

I don't know why the listing company & seller just disappeared on them and never accepted or countered the offer.

But this is really just out of control.

Oh, and I posted fellow-blogger Tyler's picture of the front of the house over here.

Random Thoughts Roundup

2008-11-02T19:18:00.000-08:00

1. I have a new tenant moving into my little cottage. Huzzah! He seems fabulous, and is really excited about the house and the area.

2. The house on one side is for sale. I don't really like the building, but the yard is FANTASTIC. Too bad it's overpriced, and therefore I'm not buying it.

3. The house on the OTHER side is foreclosed and has a lockbox on the door. No listing as of yet, but it'll come on soon. I'd seriously consider this one if it were priced right. The deferred maintenance is crazy (and it has all of ZERO curb appeal,) but I'm confident that I could transform it. It's got great bones.

4. I toured a $20k Victorian today, a couple blocks away. It's actually not on the demo list, nor the chapter 249. (Dang, if only I were a millionaire NOW... I'd buy ALL these places!)

5. The sunset over Theo Wirth Parkway is PHENOMENAL.

6. Only one more day until the election. Thank heavens... I want this to be over. (Though I think it's pretty cool that the old Bean Scene on Penn/Bro is currently serving as an Obama campaign office.)

I think I'm going to throw up

2008-10-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

I did everything I could think of to call attention to this perfectly salvagable brick foursquare.

But my efforts were clearly not enough.

This picture is nauseating.

Opportunity in Old Highland!

2008-09-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is me shamelessly promoting my newest listing... but look how gorgeous it is!

This fabulous, huge, 5BR home is located the Old Highland neighborhood, and is currently listed for $199,9.

Tell all your friends!

Oh, and for my fellow old-house-crazy-obsessives... I have two words:

SUBWAY TILE!!!

Huzzah!

2008-09-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

More great press for NoMi!

Am I crazy?

2008-09-09T16:45:00.001-07:00

Is it bizarre that I look at things like this and want to save them?

Am I really the only one who thinks this sort of construction merits our stewardship?

Are people REALLY telling me that such a house is beyond salvage?

What will fill the void if this house goes away?

Does no one else wonder how many children have sat on this bench to remove their galoshes or snow-boots?

Do we really want to fill our landfills with shards of quality craftsmanship; bits of old-growth history?

Apparently I AM crazy.

To say nothing of tired.

And very very sad.

Oh and by the way -

2008-07-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

I was vacationing abroad when this little nugget found its way to my email inbox, courtesy of a neighbor:

Sent: Tuesday, June 17, 2008 3:26 PM
Subject: Please join us -- Hennepin County demolition initiative for
boarded and vacant houses in Minneapolis
Importance: High

Hennepin County Commissioner Mike Opat would like to invite your office
to a news conference tomorrow morning announcing Hennepin County's
initiative
to demolish boarded and vacant homes in Minneapolis. We hope you are
able to attend. Please forward this message to other stakeholders who
may be
interested, and call or email me with any questions.

Hennepin County to fund demolition of at least 50 blighted properties in
Minneapolis

A news conference will be held Wednesday to announce a Hennepin County
initiative providing $1.25 million in funding to demolish boarded and
vacant
homes in Minneapolis. The county will fund at least 50 demolitions of
properties that are blighted and pose a public safety threat to
neighborhoods.
Since many of the condemned homes have been abandoned because of
mortgage foreclosure, the initiative is aimed at accelerating the
housing market
turnaround and stabilizing and securing neighborhoods.

WHEN: Wednesday, June 18, at 10:30 a.m.

WHERE: 2914 Dupont Ave. N. in Minneapolis -- a condemned, burned-out
house that will be among the properties demolished by this initiative:
(See attached file: 2914 Dupont North (2).JPG)

WHO: Join Hennepin County Commissioner Mike Opat, other elected
officials and staff from Hennepin County and the City of Minneapolis,
and housing
and community organizations and residents.

CONTACT: Office of Hennepin County Commissioner Mike Opat, 612-348-7881

DETAILS: Tuesday the Hennepin County Board of Commissioners approved a
resolution, authored by Commissioner Mike Opat, to address major blight
and
public safety issues in Minneapolis by demolishing at least 50 vacant
and boarded residential properties.

The resolution includes $1.25 million in Hennepin County funding --
$500,000 from the Environmental Response Fund for environmental
assessment and
cleanup; $500,000 in contingency funding for demolition work; and
$250,000 from the Solid Waste Enterprise Fund for transport and waste
disposal.
Environmental concerns for the properties include the presence of
lead-based paint, asbestos and other hazardous materials.

All of the properties will be demolished by Dec. 31 and final site
activities completed by June 30, 2009. An assessment of $17,500, or 70
percent of
the average cost for assessment, cleanup, demolition and disposal, will
be made on each property, repayable to Hennepin County.

______________________________

_
Phil Essington
Office of Commissioner Mike Opat
Hennepin County
300 S. 6th St., Mpls, MN 55487-0240
612.348.5206, f) 612.348.8701
phil.essington@co.hennepin.mn.us

This makes me feel ill.

Under $25,000 Home Tour

2008-07-02T11:49:00.000-07:00

A while back I mentioned that there are a whole bunch of REALLY cheap houses for sale at the moment, many of which are located in North Minneapolis.

Remember? Very good.

Anyway, a couple of lovely gentlemen from Minnpost found this particularly interesting, and asked if they could see a few such houses. I obliged, and they made a video about it.

Here it is:

Victims or Miscreants?

2008-05-23T19:58:00.000-07:00

Here's the Strib article.

Here's Johnny Northside's response.

I already have a fully formed opinion on this, but please do read and judge for yourself.

Northside Home Tour THIS SATURDAY???

2008-05-14T21:03:00.001-07:00

****BREAKING NEWS****

I just found out about this today - YIKES!

But in-between your Art-A-Whirling, I heartily encourage you to jog west just a smidge and check out the home tour that's going on this Saturday, May 17 on the Northside!

I have a flyer, but I can't for the life of me figure out how to link it here. (It's a PDF)

Email me for the details and/or if you want to school me on PDF-linkage...)

And I'll see you North/Northeast this weekend!

Northside Synagogues Walking Tour!

2008-05-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

From the City of Minneapolis website:

Co-sponsored by the Jewish Historical Society of the Upper Midwest
Date: May 31
Time: 10:30 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Place: Mikro Kodesh Synagogue, 1000 Oliver Ave N.
Guide: Jewish Historical Society of the Upper Midwest
This walking tour will highlight some of the gathering places of North Minneapolis’s Jewish community in the early 20^th century. Visit a neighborhood with three synagogues as well as the Emmanuel Cohen Community Center and the Jewish Shelter Home for Children. Learn about the architectural history of these buildings and the communities that have – and continue to gather here.

SO NEAT! I'm definitely planning to be there.

Minneapolis Advantage loan program

2008-05-02T09:50:00.000-07:00

From the city web page:

"The Minneapolis Advantage loan program is a downpayment and closing cost assistance program to help rebuild the housing market in key neighborhoods that have experienced mortgage foreclosures.

The program offers a $10,000 zero-percent interest rate loan that is forgivable over five years to anyone buying a home in which they will live in these eligible neighborhoods (PDF). Additional assistance offered through neighborhood associations may be available to homebuyers purchasing homes in Harrison, McKinley, Folwell and Webber-Camden."

Loan applications will be accepted starting May 5!

This is an awesome opportunity.

Holy Cheap Houses!

2008-04-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

A quick search on MLS Matrix this morning reveals that North Minneapolis currently has:

470 homes for sale listed UNDER $100,000;

234 homes for sale listed UNDER $50,000;

and 36 homes for sale listed UNDER $25,000.

This is mind-boggling.

Here's a photo of one from the third category:

I think it's pretty cute... especially considering the fact that it's about the price of my first decent (used) car.

Well now... THIS should be interesting!

2008-01-25T15:42:00.000-08:00

Thanks to their handy-dandy blog, I just learned that North Minneapolis's Hawthorne Neighborhood is charting a bold new course in the battle against foreclosure-blight.

I don't know where this case is going to go, but I DO know that many of the good boys and girls of North Minneapolis are getting rather PISSED about the current state of affairs... and I don't blame them one bit.

I can't wait to see what happens next!

So much for nobody wanting homes over north

2008-01-04T20:51:00.000-08:00

Yes yes, I knowwwwwww, if you read the Strib or surf the web or talk to just about ANYBODY on the street on a given day about real estate, I KNOW they will mention the foreclosure rates in North Minneapolis.

Yes yes, mm-hmm. Indeed.

We've all heard... From Old Highland to Victory; from Willard-Homewood to Webber Park, there's a bootload of inventory, and price has crashed like some overweight ice-dam in a torrential spring rain. We've seen the google-maps, with their bazillion merging red dots.

But wait - let me tell you something you may not know:

In the past couple of months, I've gone shopping with several buyers in North Minneapolis. While we found the very inventory we expected, we also found something else: fierce competition.

Ye gads!

You mean somebody ELSE actually wants these homes? Not just us crazies?

You bet.

In fact, in the past week and a half, one particular buyer of mine (bless her poor, disheartened soul) has encountered multiple offer situations on no less than FOUR CONSECUTIVE HOMES on which we've written offers.

Coincidence?

Bad luck?

I think not. In fact, I think that as aggravating as this may be for my clients, it actually points to something very GOOD.

I think we're on the rebound...

Peace Ball 2007

2007-10-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

This Saturday is the Peace Ball!

I heard that Councilman Samuels is going to do some singing...

Yeah, I did it.

2007-10-07T20:36:00.001-07:00

I made a new blog for the new house: http://thehealyhouse.blogspot.com/

I'm not abandoning this one just yet, as I still do have the house over north, and stuff still happens there, and, well, I've grown attached.

But I felt like it was somehow wrong to post news about the new house on the blog of the older house...

So there ya have it. I am now in two places at once.

The Good Scientist loves Galactic Pizza

2007-10-05T19:23:00.001-07:00

If you are thinking of refinancing your home...

2007-10-04T08:22:00.000-07:00

You may want to read this post by Derrik D. FIRST!

A new house to be a-bloggin'?

2007-10-01T16:46:00.001-07:00

Alright people, hopefully I haven't annoyed you TOO much with my vague and foggy references to a new house that might or might not become the Rantys' new abode.

I've been deliberately sketchy about the details for the simple reason that I was afraid it wouldn't go through, and I didn't want to have to address a bunch of people asking "Hey! What's up with the new digs?!" for the next six months if in fact we weren't able to purchase the place.

Howevahhhhh....

I now believe it's going to happen. Our loan+appraisal came back okay(!) from underwriting today. The appraisal was an X factor for reasons unrelated to dollar value. (I will explain this appraisal situation in a later post, since I'm still doing some research about the particular problem we encountered, and want to be able to describe it clearly and accurately.)

Anyway, it's important to note that the deal is not done until it's CLOSED. Stuff can still come up, go wrong, get screwy, etc. The difference is that we are now over BIGGEST hurdle, and I feel pretty comfortable that I can deal with whatever standard pre-closing blips might come our way in the remaining days. (And I am treating this Friday close as a maybe. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it ended up getting pushed to Tuesday. We are cutting it SUPER close to get all the documents in order in four days!)

Now then, because I cannot contain my excitement one minute longer, and because no one guessed in my super-difficult trivia-about-the-house post, I have decided to reveal The Future Seat of Rantydom, in all its broken-down-reposessed-squirrel-inhabited-splennnndor:

So if all goes as planned, I'll be back to official house-blogging sooooooooooon! Hooray!

Pillow Fight!

2007-10-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

This event news brought to you by Ang.

I wanna go too!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow....

2007-09-30T18:10:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we should know* if we get to buy the craptastic-est house evar.

Wish us luck!

*Yeah, I know I said that last Wednesday and then again last Friday... but considering the fact that we're scheduled to close THIS COMING FRIDAY I'd say that Monday is probably the absolute-latest we can hear back about the appraisal without killing the deal.

But then again, crazy things happen every day in the wonderful world of real estate...

A Devine-Condo-Bling-Birthday Bash

2007-09-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

Naughty smokers out on the balcony.
<------------

This is the only pic we got before our camera batteries died. Argh!

Other shots can be found here and here though.

What should Ranty DO?????????

2007-09-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

***WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!***

***LONG, RAMBLING, SERIOUS POST AHEAD!***

Dear Readers:

Have you ever known a family with problems?

No, I don't mean that family where the one kid rebelled, coloring his hair black and piercing everything before heading off to college, nor even the family where the daughter got pregnant at 16 and the dad collected uneployment and drank too much, and everyone on the block talked about them behind their backs...

I mean a family for whom you actually felt afraid.

I guess maybe the question should be re-phrased... have you ever known a family about which you felt extreme concern and considered DOING something about?

Okay wait - here's a third way to put it:

When do you go beyond "tsk-ing" at other peoples' problems and actually intervene in some measureable way, even if it means calling the police, child protection, or something else?

Yeah, I know, you have no idea what I'm talking about...

So, I'll tell you a little story and maybe you can help me figure out what to do, if anything.

*

THE CAST

The matriarch is Grandma. Grandma is always very nice to me. We talk a few times a week, mostly when I visit her at her home. (No she's not my tenant, I just know her.)

When I met Grandma, she had four grandchildren in her household: two boys and two girls. The eldest boy, who I'll call "William" is near 18, and like a father to the younger kids. He's without a doubt the most thoughtful, responsible person in the household. He likes to work on cars, and developed a sort of (masculine) crush on the Good Scientist very early on, since they share this interest.

The younger boy, who I'll call "Rob," is an asshole. It's probably part due to his age, which I'd put at about 13. He's barely ever around, and when he is, he's incredibly rude to his family, and embodies the gangbanger stereotype, not only in costume but in mannerisms, including a propensity to shout profanities and racial slurs at his "friends," no matter who's around to hear.

The two smallest children are the girls. They are 6 and 4. (I'll just call them "the girls" because I can't think of any good pseudonyms for them.) They are sweet, curious children, but developmentally behind. (The 6-year-old completed kindergarten last year, but still cannot sing the A-B-C song. The 4-year-old speaks like a 2-year-old.)

There is one other on-again-off-again member of this household, and she is Grandma's daughter, as well as mother of the two girls. (Let's call her Yasmin.)

THE STORY

Grandma doesn't work, because she's caring for the children. She spends most of her day drinking and talking on the phone to people about what stuff is costing her and how she doesn't have enough money.

William goes to high school, and spends his time afterwards working on cars and watching out for the little girls. He tries to watch out for Rob too, but they usually just end up arguing and Rob stomps off to hang out with his friends.

Yasmin is usally out of the picture, since she spends most of her time in jail for crack. Every now and then, however, she gets out... and shit gets WAY worse...

... like recently. Here's what happened:

Yasmin came home from jail last spring.

Her two little girls were so elated!!! They wanted to spend every minute hugging her and playing with her... but Yasmin had other things on her mind, it seems. She proceeded to spend the next couple of months either a) holed up in her room, (was she smoking??? I don't know!) or b) out with male friends. She never got a job, and didn't do much of anything for the kids.

Rob remained gone most of the time.

William moved up north for the summer to work on cars at his uncle's place.

The little girls languished without interaction, as Grandma sat on the phone with her booze, and mom was like a ghost - not really there, even when she was there.

On my regular visits to their home, I often found the girls lounging on the dirt yard, playing with such inappropriate items as: toxic markers; a staple gun; and handfuls of raw ground meat. They were often in various states of undress.

The summer waned on, and in spite of my fumbling attempts to assist the family in procuring summer care for (at least) the girls, nothing really changed.

Recently, things got even worse.

I noticed that Yasmin disappeared. I assumed she was back in jail, and Grandma confirmed this in our most recent conversation. While this alone would not surprise me now, the accompanying tale she told me DID:

Grandma said that Yasmin had gotten picked up on a warrant, (For what this time - I didn't ask) and that she was ordered to the workhouse for 36 days. Grandma pleaded with the appropriate powers to let Yasmin turn herself in a week later, because that was when William was coming back from up north, and could help take over for Yasmin in helping Grandma with Rob and the girls.

That request was granted.

William's return overlapped by a day or so with Yasmin's scheduled departure.

They got into a fight.

Yasmin threw one of the two pots of boiling water (which Grandma keeps on the stove for humidity) at William and burned him. When she reached for the second pot, William threw himself at her and held her tightly, arms at her sides. (As Grandma recounts, anyway.)

Yasmin started screaming, struggled free, and proceeded to call the police, alleging attempted strangulation. When the police arrived, Yasmin (again, according to Grandma,) feigned injury, moaning and groaning and pinching her neck to show how William had tried to kill her.

William was subsequently picked up, brought to juvenile detention, and tried on assault charges.

Yasmin reiterated her story before the judge, while Grandma testified to the contrary.

William was sent to a local detention camp for 12 months. (And then Yasmin missed her turn-in date and got almost another year herself.)

THE FINALE

As I stood there the other day with Grandma, listening to this story, I couldn't help but ponder the veracity of her words. The truth is that I don't know what to believe, from any of these guys. I have caught the girls lying to me on a number of ocassions, and I know that it's a learned behavior. I am filled with doubt and uncertainty whenever I talk to any of them...

But there I was, frozen, listening to Grandma, watching as the tears filled her eyes and slowly began to spill over. She kept talking, feverishly, as they dripped from her chin, staining her rumpled shirt. I listened dumbly... numbly... encapsulated in the sad halo of her alcohol-breath, unable to form a thought apart from discomfort at the expanding gassy-bubble of hatred ascending from my gut, on whose surface was the face... of Yasmin.

It was then, as I stood there fighting my discomfort, that Grandma produced the sickening *cherry, brilliant in it's horrifying simplicity, atop this veritable sundae of disfunction:

She said to me: (and I paraphrase)

Yeah, and that's why all them cars been comin' up in here, I know you seen 'em and you don't approve, and I'm gonna stop, cuz you know I know it's bad for me with my asthma, but I just can't handle all a this, and I need me some weed an that stuff too, you know... to relax myself.

.
.
.
.
.

SO.

Should I do anything???? Say anything???? To anybody or nobody??? And if yes, what??? To whom???

Help!

I'm getting an ulcer thinking about all of this - especially those little girls.

*Bad sundae metaphor idea stolen from Jeremy at Afterglide.

What do YOU do?

2007-09-26T13:17:00.000-07:00

When you REEEEEEEEEALLY REALLY want something, but it's unclear as to wether you'll be able to get it?

Do you:

A) Try not to think about it or get too excited, lest you be more disappointed if it falls through, or

B) Think about it constantly, plan for it, and actively visualize yourself achieving/possessing it?

Electric Arc this Saturday

2007-09-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

Here's the scoop:


*****
Saturday, Sep 29, 8pm at the Woman's Club Theatre, Electric Arc Radio
Rolls Again, Recorded Live for Broadcast!

There is a mortgage crisis in this country.  Who is the subprimiest
group of writers you know?  The four housemates of the Lit 6 Project.
And so it comes to pass.  A crinkled foreclosure notice is found in a
spot it doesn't belong.  The writers are going to lose the house!
Fear and Loathing in Minneapolis... filled with song!  Beer!  Beer!
Clarinet! Visits from Pixie Pop Stars! Mortgage Brokers and a Paperboy
in Love!  You can't miss it.

Special Musical Guest Haley Bonar! http://www.haleybonar.com/

Special Comedian/Clarinetist visit from Mary Mack!
http://www.marymackcomedy.com/

Spread around these special Door Promotions!
$8 at the door with Student ID! (AARP Card will work, too).
A two-fer ticket ($15 for 2) if at least one ticket buyer has never
seen the show! On your honor!

This is the funniest show ever!  Be there!  Doors and Bar open at 7pm!

Thanks to our great sponsors: 89.3 The Current, Mpls.St.Paul Magazine,
Hamline University's Graduate School of Liberal Studies, Joe's Garage,
The Loft, and Bells Beer.

Also thanks to our Neighbors who will begin to get their real due on
Saturday!!!!
*****

(This was lifted from an email sent by Geoff Herbach.)

Real or Fake?

2007-09-24T20:59:00.001-07:00

What do you think?

Okay, I admit it. I'm paranoid and superstitious. Sort of.

2007-09-23T18:43:00.000-07:00

I've always been afraid of car accidents.

Often when I am driving, images of wreckage will strike me out of the blue. I know it's in my mind, but believe me when I say that it's utterly subconscious. I could be thinking of kittens and ouzo and Queen Anne architecture, and all of the sudden my brain will be jolted with imaginary sensation of being rammed by another vehicle, complete with the sound of shattering glass and crushing metal.

Once when I was younger, I announced to to my mother quite matter-of-factly that I would die in a car wreck. I have no idea where that idea came from, but come it did. Needless to say, it freaked her out. (And me too!)

So given all of the above, coupled with the fact that I have survived two bad car accidents already, it stands to reason that I was chilled to my very soul when the GS called me some months ago and breathlessly informed me that he'd been in an accident with his brand new dream-car while en route to meet friends for Dim Sum. (I have not eaten Dim Sum since, as a result.)

His vehicle was NEARLY totalled. (Some might argue that it should have been... but that's a different post.) So dramatic was the trail of damage and debris along the I94 ramp from Highway 55 that I thought I might be sick when I saw it shortly after picking the GS up from the side of the road.

We agreed that his emergence unscathed was miraculous.

I, non-religous as I am, then informed him that we must make an offering to St. Christopher in gratitude.

Here's why:

Shortly after the GS made that fateful purchase of his long-sought-after vehicle, his parents sent him a gift. It was a medallion of Aghios Christoforos (St. Christopher,) patron saint of travellers. The GS doesn't much care for saints and religiosity as it were, but since it was a present- and a very fine one at that -he dutifully tucked the icon behind his sun-visor.

Needless to say, when the tow-company allowed him the perfunctory "gather-your-crap" access prior to the insurance adjustor's visit, "the Aghio" was the first thing he grabbed out of the car.

On our recent sojourn to his Patrida, I was determined to do something in acknowlegement of this episode. Sadly, I found that there was no shrine to the good Christopher on Corfu.

Damn!

Instead, we paid homage to the odd Cypriot mummy that watches over all of Corfu: St. Spiridon. We lit candles and the GS + mama dutifully kissed the casket. (I don't kiss objects, but I tried to look as reverential as I could to make up for that.)

I hope that was good enough.

And now, I'm proud to say that I am in possession of my very own icon of the good St. Christopher. I hope only that he will protect me until my rightful time has come...

Where in the world is the house that Ranty wants???

2007-09-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

I love trivia!

Okay, here's a big hint: it's in Minneapolis.

Other hints:

It was built by a semi-famous (to the obsessed like myself anyway) architect who's heyday was roughly the last decade of the 19th Century.

It is one of two homes that he both built and lived in himself.

It's block has historic designation, both nationally and by the State.

And the last BIG hint:

The view from the veranda is, uhhh... BUSY... and NOISY.

Why the Rantys need a juice-fast after visiting Greece

2007-09-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

An Infestation at the In-Laws' House

2007-09-21T07:18:00.001-07:00

A Boring, Picture-less Post about Amsterdam

2007-09-20T17:23:00.000-07:00

Yes, Ranty and Co. have officially returned from the Ionian Wonderland that is Corfu, and hey, we only missed on flight out of six! Unfortunately that one flight resulted in a complete reconfiguration of the other two inbound flights... costing us over $400 and forcing us to spend a day in Amsterdam... again.

Not that Amsterdam is bad, mind you, in fact I find it quite charming... just not when I haven't had any sleep and am bitter over a missed flight. At any rate, we've done this day-layover thing a number of times now, so it was almost rote for us.

After digging long-sleeved shirts and an umbrella out of our luggage and stashing our backpacks at the Schiphol airport luggage lockers, we typically hop a train into the city and head straight for the floating flower market. This time was no exception. We had our usual (ranty) coffee, (GS) Heineken, and (shared) bacon and egg sandwich at a cafe across from the sea of tulip bulbs, and watched the pedestrian show.

Amsterdam, at least when compared with the homogeneity of Greece, is a delightfully diverse place. I LOVE walking down the street (or sitting around eating a bacon and egg sandwich, as it were,) and hearing a multitude of languages. LOVE IT! I counted Spanish, Italian, Arabic, English, Greek and Dutch among the snatches of convo overheard... and that doesn't account for the languages I couldn't understand or identify, which were at least two more.

The other cool thing?

They had signs in Somali around the airport.

And here I thought we were unique for that in Minneapolis...

The funniest event of all though, was when the GS and I stopped at an outdoor display, lazily browsing postcards and such to pass the time. I made a comment (in Greek) about wanting to go back and look at a print which had caught my eye around the corner.

At that very moment, a gentleman was passing along the sidewalk, directly behind me. He swung around, smiled widely at me, and called out "Patrida!*"

Considering the fact that I'm 110% American, that comment made the GS's day...

*"Patrida" means "homeland" in Greek. It is common for Greeks to use this word as a exclamatory greeting when happening across a fellow Hellene while abroad.

Ohmigod hyperventilate

2007-09-07T20:12:00.001-07:00

Just made an offer today on the craptastikest house EVER.

Now, the offer hasn't been accepted yet, and it's bank-owned, so this is NOT a done deal.

I'm so scared.

I hope it works.

Cross your fingers please!!!

***UPDATE: We have a counter situation. It's a tricky one. Tentatively confident though...***

Now THAT's a keeper

2007-09-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

Some telemarketer seriously just called and asked to speak with "Dr. Napoleon."

Nope, I'm not lying.

(I calmly informed her that he wasn't here right now, but I'd be sure to give him the message.)

Where in the world are the Rantys going NOW?

2007-08-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

Same deal as last time - the winner gets a souvenir from the place!

(Mom, you are automatically disqualifed. Please don't guess! You'll get souvenirs and presents anyway... :-)

Okay, here are the preliminary clues:

1. This place is known by two names simultaneously, in two different alphabets.

2. The name used by locals is derived from that of a mythological nymph.

3. It has been governed by several different powers over the course of time, including Venetian, French and British. It also served as the capitol of a nominally sovereign republic for a short while.

4. Remnants of outside influence include a promenade modeled after the Rue de Rivoli, a cricket field in the center of town, and a surprising taste (by the locals) for Ginger Beer.

5. This place is also the home of a (nearly) world-famous party hostel, whose name has a color in it.

Text messages - did I miss the memo?

2007-08-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

When did text-messaging become interchangeable with email?

Now I admit that I may have become TOO attached to email. I mean, I never turn my computer off... Ever. I leave browser windows open all day, and sometimes all night. I use email sometimes when I probably should be making a phone call instead...

But whatever is up with this move to texting?

The instances in which an email message (sent by me) is responded to via text to my phone are wayyyyyyyy up. Seriously, if you take the time to read my message, why not just hit reply instead of pulling out the cell to text me back?

I'm getting texts in the middle of the night. (Hello? It wakes me up! Wait 'til morning please!)

I even have a client now who prefers contact via text message.

What's the deal?

I guess I better get that unlimited text addition to my phone plan... and fast.

How many cars does a purse thief have???

2007-08-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

So, in addition to charging drinks, a couple of slices from Pizza Luce, and parking on my credit card, the purse thief also made the following charges on my check-card, thanks to Wells Fargo's system being down and thus incapable of refusing transactions...

$132 Target, Brooklyn Park
$123 Babies R Us, Maple Grove
$50 SuperAmerica, New Hope
$97 SuperAmerica, New Hope
$50 SuperAmerica, New Hope
$47 Cub Foods, Brooklyn Park
$25 McDonald's, Crystal
$205 Walmart, Brooklyn Park

What a sad list. I mean, for crying out loud...

Open House Recap

2007-08-27T15:09:00.000-07:00

After much stressing, racing around for balloons, coffee, cupcakes and signage, (to say nothing of driving the Good Scientist out of his mind with my anxiety,) I do believe the open was a great success.

First of all, my mom and stepdad hoofed it all the way up from Eureka Township, just to see the finished product and provide moral support on my very first [EVAR] open house.

Second of all, Ed from The Deets came, and brought the lovely Mrs. Deets as well! We discussed real estate websites, decorating, and of course, the Jucy Lucy. Sweet!

Third of all, I got a visit from some VERY cool neighbors, and they had lots of advice about the people with whom I should be networking to promote the cottage, as well as great info about other properties around the area, and some general neighborhood newsy stuff.

AWESOME!

Processing your loans AND hooking you up with the hip threads!

2007-08-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I recently joined Century 21 Luger Realty as a sales associate.

You may also have noticed, if you've been reading this blog for a while, that I love fashion.

So what a fabulous (cosmic?) surprise it was when I discovered the owner of my favorite neighborhood boutique, right downstairs in our in-house mortgage company!

Ladies and Gentlemen, she's bringing you the style, AND processing your loans!

I may have to begin sporting these locally-designed outfits at all of my closings, just because this is too good of an excuse to shop at one of the coolest boutiques around...

(Would that be considered cross-branding???)

Hmmm... the world just keeps getting smaller and smaller!

A lesson learned the hard way

2007-08-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

Every experience -no matter how painful or aggravating- should teach us something, right?

Well this weekend I learned the hard way - NEVER to put my purse down in a nightclub again.

Yes, I should have already known that. In fact, I used to ALWAYS leave my purse at home, carrying merely an ID, credit card and some cash in a pocket when going out. Alas, I have grown lax in recent months. I wanted to carry my camera around so I could take photos and blog about events, and of course there's the ever-important need for a stash of business cards and a cell phone on my person at all times, right?

Well yes, okay, but if I must carry these things, I guess I had better not be so stupid as to put my purse down!!!!!

A mistake I will not make again...

Among the lost items are:

driver's license
ALL of my credit/debit cards
cell phone
digital camera

Not to mention stupid stuff like my favorite makeup items, business cards, library card, etc.

And, to add insult to injury, the Good Scientist's VIP card for the Lounge (where the theft took place) was in there as well, so now the THIEF is going to be VIP-ed!!!!

Bastards.

Of course the first thing the thief did was try to charge gasoline... fortunately my bank denied the charge since I cancelled all cards IMMEDIATELY. (Then they took a different card and successfully charged $700 worth of crap which I have yet to identify. It should be fun to see what this idiot bought.)

Vacation Photo Recap Part 2

2007-08-16T19:30:00.001-07:00

From my childhood BF's wedding last weekend, in Sebastopol, CA:

Look at that cake!
<-------------- The groom is studying viticulture, so the grapes were an appropriate touch.

Needless to say, the wine was good!

GS is always quick to find the hot chicks...

Sunday brunch with the happy couple.

I miss these guys... wish they still lived in MN.

So the wedding was Saturday. On Sunday afternoon, GS and I decided to have an impromptu picnic in Petaluma, made up of random snacks procured at Albertson's, along with a bottle of the groom's own wine, which was given as wedding favors.

Here's our spread:
<---------------- Note the sushi. NOT a good idea to buy from the grocery store... I REPEAT: NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Yeah, he's smiling now... but not for long.

A glimpse of the bridge as we headed back to SF... holding our stomachs in agony.

And now, ANOTHER wedding tomorrow!

Happy Birthday GS!

2007-08-15T08:41:00.001-07:00

Agapitoulh-mou!

Vacation Photo Recap, Part 1

2007-08-13T15:18:00.001-07:00

(Part 2 will come shortly, and include details of our weekend-wedding-stopover in San Francisco.)

International paparazzi has arrived on the scene.
(San Pedro Sula airport)

Pinatas in production. (La Ceiba)

This is a Ceiba tree, for which my home-away-from-home, La Ceiba is named.

(And this is a *small* one.)

The Estero. (Estuary)

Dirtyyyyyyyy!

(La Ceiba)

When in Ceiba, one must rokk the appropriate Ceibeno specs, y'know. (Particularly when one feels an affinity with gigantic citrus fruit.)

Gotsta luv the getto-ferry!

(Or as the GS would say, the "skilopnikths," which translates to "dog-drowner.")

(Bound for Roatan)

Dude. I'm trying to read here.

Angels & Demons is, as Psycho Suzi would say: trashy, but tasty.

Sunset in the village of West End, on Roatan.

A couple of US GIs enjoy their r&r with two lovely British tourists. (One is laying in the surf with her Monkey La-La.)

These guys flew up from Comayagua in their Blackhawks for their 72 hours of rest. We actually saw them later, weaving back across the sky from the mainland. It was pretty cool.

The GS toasts Salva Vida, (the national beer, literally "Life Saver") as well as: the sunset; army kids trying to score; crazy water taxis(boat in background;) Roatan; and our [WOW!] six-year anniversary.

Across the "street" from our $25/night hotel in West End.

Not a bad front yard, if I may say.

GS was particularly pleased by the fact that this beach was named "Half Moon Bay." (Not much wave for surfing here, however.)

Gratuitous breakfast-boob-shot.

(Crispy-fried hangover included freeeeee!.)

*Ranty thought bubble reads: "should I get the hash brow's w/bacon and beams?"*

Whatchoo lookin' at, Snapper?

This important potty message brought to you by: Honduras.

(And stingrays.)

And moving right along...

No, it's not Cancun, though the prices are probably close. (A total shock after the rest of Honduras.)

It's West Bay Beach! Whooo! Also known as the alternate universe.

Where did all of these ITALIANS come from??????? (Oh yeah, must be the new direct flight from Milan.)

Back on the mainland, and back to the fantastic Garifuna village of Sambo Creek.

These "aguas thermales" are REALLY. EFFING. HOT.

The spray that you see coming out of the hose is cold water, which makes the spring barely tolerable. (What a great treat after a zipline canopy tour though! Pics of that to come once I find the GS's camera.)

The final lunch, at Helen's, also located in Sambo Creek.

Hasta la proxima vez, Honduras... que le vaya bien... !mi corazon!

P.S. In view of my recent post trivia post about where in world I was going, (won by my dedicated fellow-midwestern-house-blogger Litter Box House) you may be wondering why in the heck there are no Utila/Water Cay photos here, since GS and I attended the SUPER-DUPER-FANTASTIC Sun Jam event there this week.

I know, I know. I wish I had some!!! It was AWESOME.*

The reason is that cameras were STRICTLY forbidden on the Cay. Anyone found carrying one had their battery confiscated, and that even included our silly little travel-phone, which had a blurry camera built-in. (See mom? THAT is why I didn't call!)

I suppose it had something to do with a fear of documentation of gratuitous sex and drug use... ? :-) Actually, I'm kidding. It was great fun, and other than a pervasive cloud of pot smoke, we didn't witness a single naughty thing. It was totally chill, hippy-style.

*If you want to attend next year, send me an email. GS and I are hoping to organize a big group. Who knows? There might even be sailboats involved... :-)

Honorary Greeks

2007-08-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

The Good Scientist with Garifuna children in the coastal village of Sambo Creek.

In spite of the language barrier, they managed to have an extended conversation about... futbol.

(From L2R: Ronaldhinio, Beckham, Messi, Zidane, Castillo.)

Hash Brow's w/bacon and beams

2007-08-08T17:44:00.000-07:00

Even in San Pedro Sula, Honduras, the front page showed Minneapolis.

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So many interesting choices for breakfast on Roatan.

(What the hell is a beam???)

I'm guessing beans, but I didn't try it to see...

Roll Call!

2007-08-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

Mr. Ranty was nearby, but thankfully didn't get onto the 35W bridge which collapsed during this evening's rush hour.

Is everybody okay???????????????

Please let us know!!!

Where in the world is Ranty going to be this weekend???

2007-07-31T16:10:00.000-07:00

Wow, three posts in one day!

I'm deliberately overcompensating for what will likely be an eleven-day drought in ranty-posts.

Yes yes, I know you're thinking:

Whaaaaaaat???? How will I survive eleven days without my fix of blurry house/garden pics with fingernail-measurements, over-puctuated diatribes and wanton, profanity-laced complaining????

But I promise that you will make it through. Especially if you read MNSpeak. (And if you don't, I suggest you do. It's awesome. I've been wasting precious time there for well over a year now, so I know what I'm talking about.)

And nowwwwwwwwwww... to keep you further occupied, how about a contest???

WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE SRA. & SR. RANTY GOING TO BE THIS WEEKEND*?

Okay, here are the hints:

1. It's an island. (But no, not the Greek one from which Sr. Ranty hails.)

2. It's actually a deserted island, located in a tiny archipelago.

3. The main language spoken throughout this archipelago (on the islands which are inhabited, that is to say) is not the same as that of the country to which the island belongs. In fact, the islanders are a source of fascination to some linguistic scholars for their unique patois.

4. This particular deserted island is home to an annual music festival, which takes place next weekend, and is also something of a cult diving destination.

And the biggest hint of all:

5. While I call it an island, the islanders actually call it a "cay."

The first person to guess the answer correctly wins a souvenir from the trip! (No, I'm not telling you what the souvenir is, because I don't know yet. It will have to be small and legal to carry across borders though, for sure. :-)

*Those of you to whom I already disclosed the location: hush.

Sooooooooooo CUTE!

2007-07-31T14:28:00.001-07:00

The baby gourd, that is to say... not to be confused with my fingernail or the rusty pickup truck key.

The Den, then and now

2007-07-31T13:53:00.001-07:00

The den was rather difficult to photograph, but here's a taste of what that poor little room had to go through...

Note the disgusting ceiling. It started out with foamboard tiles, under which I also discovered painted wallpaper.

Both were undoubtedly somebody's *cough* clever response to the underlying plaster damage.

I'll never EVER forget pulling down the penultimate tile and discovering the words "f**k you!" scrawled in red ink underneath.

See that last bottom corner of plaster?

Pulling it out yielded much dust, some loose lath, and a bonus pair of men's tighty-whities, plastered right into the dang wall.

Go figure...

All done!

Saturday Afternoon Project

2007-07-28T21:19:00.001-07:00

As some (but not all) of you know, this house-lady's base of operations is (ironically) a little apartment in Whittier.

While the Good Scientist and I do intend to move into house #5 (aka the dump of my dreams) after it's ready, we are currently enjoying our non-working hours in this tiny flat near Lyn-Lake.

<---------
Shocking, I know.

It's white. AND IT'S CLUTTERED!

And don't get me started on the light fixture....

And I'll tell you a secret: It's DIRTY TOO.

So today I looked at this kitchen and I said to myself I said:

"Self, you are stupid. Why does the cottage look so nice and your kitchen look so terrible?"

And I said back to myself I said:

"Self, cuz I am tired. I don't wanna do this shite when I come home at night. Go proselytize ELSEWHERE, you wannabe-shoulder-sittin-angel-bizzzaaaaatch."

To which I replied:

"Hey dumbself: today is SATURDAY. Stop screwing around with your futile attempt to follow people on twitter, put on a clean shirt and let's do something prooooooo-ductive... hmmmm?"

So we (I mean "I") did just that.

I present you with a clean kitchen, walls painted in a cornhusk tone.

<------------------ Please forgive the aweful cabinetry and flooring... this is what one gets for $600/month in Whittier.

Ah, tidyness.

This is why I love Craigslist

2007-07-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

A handful of trim boards...

...and a bunch of lawncare products...

Offered free...

Generated TEN emails in UNDER five minutes! Wow!

Please don't make me cry... I have enough footwear already

2007-07-27T13:13:00.000-07:00

Guess what I found in the mail today?

A collection letter! Or, more specifically, a Demand for Payment and Intent to Levy Wages, (um, what wages?) from my buddies over at the Department of Revenue.

Huh? Wha?

Clearly, I thought to myself, this must have something to do with those yahoos losing my tax payment check, which I described back here. The strange part though was that this letter demanded the sum of $249.85... a wholly unfamiliar number to me. (My taxes due last April were over $4k.)

So I called my good friends up over at the collection department to see what had gone awry. They had all been extremely nice to me in the past, and I didn't expect any different this time.

Oops.

The guy who took my call this time must have been working through his designated smoke break or something, because he was rahh-ther snippy. I was, he brusquely informed me, in default on the penalties and interest which had accrued as a result of my failure to pay my tax bill in a timely fashion.

WTF DUDE?

He further explained that while my penalty and interest had technically been abated, I had neglected to send in the necessary proof, in the form of three months worth of bank statements, and that until or unless I did so, I was still in default.

When I began to cry out of sheer anger, his response was something to the effect of "how hard is it to just do what I'm telling you to?"

He obviously didn't understand that the REASON for which I was inching toward hysteria is that the last person I spoke with told me everything was A-OK, and that I was furious with myself for believing her and not sending a confirmation letter via certified mail.

(Needless to say, I am still kicking myself for not sending my first, timely CHECK via certified mail as well.)

So I took the fax number down and bid my dear tax collector adieu, cursing both him and myself all the while.

Five minutes later, my cell phone rang and it was him again.

"Hai! Just wanted to let you know that I checked with my supervisor and she told me that you're all cool, no need to send anything in after all. Sorry 'bout that, we heart you lots, kthnxbai!"

What the...?

I don't know what's wrong with me, but this second conversation was even more upsetting, and made me cry again. Who ARE these fawkers??? Am I just supposed to ignore that letter now? Cuz some dude on the phone told me to? Righttttttttttt.

Now I REALLY have to send them a confirmation letter. UGH.

So depressed was I that I felt compelled to take drastic measures in defense of my mental health:

I dropped everything and went to Goodwill for trampy shoes and gaudy purple stemware.

And then I traded a frisbee for some 4-legged moral support.

We're both feeling much better now...